more than you know

There is a lot of things on my mind right now that I just want to share with you, my heart is so full today and at the same time so weak. I wonder all the time how did I get this way, halfway loving myself and being to selfish to give any love away. Some would say that am scared but that's not the case maybe a little bused, but I'm still blessed to have the strength to smile anyways. I worry about my life after thirty how cold hearted a could possibly be, because I never let anyone give their love to me. But relationships are hard and marriage always leads to hate so being alone seems to be the only way. I continue to love myself and learn how not to let me down, and to believe in myself and that feels great. Protecting my heart has been a gift and a curse in so ways, and has hurt me in more ways than one being a broken-hearted girl is getting old "more than you know".